You know, it's been too long since a bearded man has appeared at the top of this page

There.

That beard (and those eyebrows!) belong to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, who believes that the U.S. is a much worse imperialist than Britain ever was. Click on his smiling face to read all about it. I'd like to respond to this belief in a rather British way: i.e., with understatement, indirectness, and of course, ad hominem ridicule.

First, does my Most Reverend and Right Honorable Lord Archbishop have anything to say about his rather dull tome on Arius? Self-described history nerds are on record as saying "One might as well have published a catalog."

Second, as "the leader of the worldwide Anglican Communion," has my Most Reverend and Right Honorable Lord Archbishop noticed that the Anglican Communion is not limited to England, but is, in fact, worldwide? Now why is it that a British bishop should be the leader of such a diverse group of people? I suppose somebody has to be in charge. Like the Roman Catholics; their version of the Archbishop of Canterbury--I forget what they call him, but I'm sure my Lord Archbishop runs into him at the big conferences--their version is the bishop of Rome. They say it has to do with the apostle Peter, but one suspects Rome being the capital of the empire had something to do with it.

Third, is my Lord Archbishop acquainted with this Cecil Rhodes fellow?

Fourth, regarding the idea that "violent action will somehow clear the decks and that you can move on and other people will put it back together," has my Lord Archbishop heard the one about the Partition of India? No? How about the Mandate of Palestine?

Finally, does the beam in my Lord Archbishop's eye bother him much?